Category: Blog

  • On Pinhead and the now defunct Chamber of Horrors

    On Pinhead and the now defunct Chamber of Horrors

    Dr. Channard emerges from his smoky pod. ‘And to think,’ he says, ‘I hesitated.’ Leviathan has transformed Channard into a Cenobite. If you haven’t seen Hellbound: Hellraiser II (Tony Randel), Channard’s mutilation is worth the price of admission. It is unnerving because it reminds us what Hellraiser (Clive Barker) is about. The only reason this is happening is because someone asked for it to happen. Earlier in the film, the Lead Cenobite refuses to interfere with the girl who opens the puzzle box, because she is coerced by Channard into solving it. ‘It is not hands that summon us. It is desire.’ Channard does not foresee having a penis drilled into his scalp, but he was looking for something in the same ballpark.

    For my twelfth birthday, my parents took me and three friends to Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks, Blackpool. We drove past it quite regularly. I studied the website. It provided a sort of virtual tour of each area. There was another part of the website which showed off the Chamber of Horrors. This quickly became the focal point of the Saturday. Would you do the Chamber of Horrors? Was it age restricted? Would people jump out to scare you? Maybe – who knows? It wasn’t age restricted, and the member of staff guarding the Chamber said no one would jump out. It was just waxworks, like upstairs.

    I was the most nervous. It was slightly embarrassing, because my younger sister had no qualms about the Chamber. In fact, she loved it. There is a photo of her smiling next to a basket of heads, severed during the Reign of Terror. I attempted the Chamber twice that day. Both times I had to turn around (you weren’t permitted to go back, but I saw no other option) at the same point. After Frankenstein’s monster and Dracula, there was Hannibal Lecter at the bottom of a black staircase. Another figure stood around the corner, at the end of a long corridor. Pinhead was, put simply, the worst thing I had seen in my life. You had to approach him. He was waiting for you.

    A YouTube walkthrough of the Chamber of Horrors. Sadly, the Chamber is no longer there. The video quality isn’t amazing, but you can make out Pinhead. Thanks to Nonsensical Child.

    I had no idea that Pinhead came from a film called Hellraiser. I wouldn’t have known he was called Pinhead. (Actually, he isn’t referred to as Pinhead until the third film, as a quippy insult.) I had glandular fever around this age. I was in hospital. A needle was inserted incorrectly into my wrist. It wasn’t where it should have been. The pain was intense. I remember feeling a sense of injustice. I hadn’t done anything wrong. The memory is probably so evocative because I don’t remember the specifics. I was absent from school for a long time, even when I was well enough to return. I watched the film Sphere (Barry Levinson) three times in a day. When I went back to school, the friends I had taken to the waxworks were not my friends. We had drifted apart. Mum assured me that this was a natural part of growing up.

    I watched Hellraiser for the first time a couple of years ago at a friend’s house. It was a much better film than I expected. Last year, with the same friend, I bought the first three films second-hand on Blu-ray. The sequels are not as cohesive as Hellraiser. Hellbound is a film of outstanding moments and set pieces. For Christmas my fiancée gave me The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker, the novella which he adapted into Hellraiser, and I am currently reading his Books of Blood in the mornings before work. Now, Pinhead means good times with friends and loved ones. Long may he endure.

  • On starting a new blog in 2025

    On starting a new blog in 2025

    When I was sixteen, I wrote (I would have used the word curated) a film blog. I posted under a pseudonym. I was in peak trying to cultivate a sense of mystery mode.

    One of the final posts was a countdown of my ten favourite films. I only remember numbers ten, five, and one:

    • Eraserhead (David Lynch)
    • The Lord of the Rings (Peter Jackson)
    • The Innocents (Jack Clayton)

    I wanted to rewatch The Innocents recently, but realised I had lost the DVD. (It’s quite expensive to buy on eBay for some reason, maybe because it’s OOP.) It was so important to me as a teenager, I wonder if it could only disappoint. It’s not you it’s me, and all that.

    The aim of that 2013 blog was to impress. David Lynch featured heavily. No one understood Eraserhead like I understood Eraserhead, even though I’d never had a girlfriend, let alone looked after a worm-baby. I was envious of the character Henry Spencer, played by Jack Nance, because he looked so sharp (dressed like a Beatle), and had his own flat in a city which to my mind wasn’t that different to Manchester – where I wanted to live.

    At the time of writing, my next birthday is about a month away. I will be twenty-eight. Like the friends in hit TV comedy Friends, I am very aware of edging closer to the big three-oh. When I was thirteen, I collected VHS tapes of Friends. During a family holiday to Wales, I found all of series five in a branch of Age UK. At the start of series five, Monica and Chandler are keeping their relationship secret from the rest of the friends. Series five of Friends was probably the first time I had seen simulated sex on TV, or the suggestion of simulated sex. The impact was profound, I suppose.

    In this blog I’d like to write about books and films, but my main motivation is to share new short stories. I was lucky enough last year to have my story ‘A Brief History of Dogs in Barcelona’ published in the April/May print issue of The London Magazine. It is also available to read online. Literally Stories are publishing another story, ‘Orders of Magnitude’, online in a couple of weeks. Free Flash Fiction are publishing a very short (sub 500 word) story titled ‘Longford’ in June.

    Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope to see you soon for some book chat and some stories, too. Keep on trucking.