Kieran.Stories

‘Featuring the reanimated corpse of Martin Amis.’ – Ray Newman

I have a new story out this week titled ‘Why Do You Let Me Lie Here Wastefully’. Thank you to Eunoia Review for publishing it. Ian does an amazing job of curating the site. I recommend spending some time exploring all its ginnels. And thanks to Ray Newman for sharing this story on Bluesky.

I wanted to write about the ideas behind the story and what I was trying to say. More than any story I’ve written over the last two years, I made this one up on the hoof.

I wasn’t in a great place at the time. I wasn’t enjoying work, and I was reading a lot about antinatalism – don’t ask. In an earlier draft, there was more about the narrator’s job. In the published story there is just a brief reference to dropping shifts at TKMaxx. There was never anything about antinatalism. Maybe it contributed to the mood.

I remember walking to the kettle in the corner of the office, thinking about what should happen in the story.

A bike is stolen. Someone films the theft, posts it on TikTok. Our narrator sees the video when he’s standing, scrolling. He sends a message asking if they would meet him. He wants to know why you would film something like that and then post it, with no context. And he wants his bike. Although the bike is secondary, even at this early stage.

I wanted to say something about coincidence but also doubles. Identikit bikes stolen by identikit people. Something about seeing a version of yourself on a phone screen.

I only felt comfortable sharing this story when I had an ending. Sometimes, it’s easy to fudge an ending, and especially in a short story, an ending can feel sort of loose. I mean, it shouldn’t be. But we’re only human. This one needed to be good, because I was asking a lot of the reader. I hope I got there.

It is a uncomfortable idea. Martin Amis died recently, in 2023. This is not a real Martin Amis, but I wanted the moment to feel real, if that makes sense.

Like my story about Lord Longford, published by Free Flash Fiction earlier this year, I wanted to use a public figure as a sort of bouncing off point. I think both those stories are about loneliness, more than anything. I also think this story was my way of getting out my nerves around London – that feeling of push and pull towards London and all it represents to someone in love with reading and writing. It’s easy to feel cut off by the sea.

Quick question: is it the tube, or the Tube? Answers on a postcard. There is a link to the story at the top of this page, if you fancy a look. Cheers, all.